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Hipnotherapy - November 2007

Gratitude 101

November 22nd 2007 07:38
Today is Thanksgiving in the states so I thought I would share some thoughts about gratitude :


1) Write down all the things in your life for which you should be grateful. It is OK to be general with statements like "being alive", rather than making statements like "breathing, my heart beating, white blood cells, etc.". However, the more specific you are, the more gratitude you will have.


2) Really think about NOT having each item on your list above, and what your life would be like. If it really does not matter to you, then the item on the list should be removed or categorized under a more general category.

3) Consider some of the things we often take for granted. Depending on where you are in the country or world, you may or may not have some of these things:

freedom
opportunity
public libraries
clean air to breathe
clean water to drink
abundance of food
electricity
protection

4) Think of those less fortunate than you. Help those less fortunate than you. This does not always involve giving away money. Be creative. There are many ways you can help others by sharing some of the things you possess, including knowledge.

It is important to your success to have gratitude and it is important to your character to show it. The act of showing gratitude is known as appreciation. Appreciation is the externalization of gratitude usually in the form of words, writing, a gesture, or even just a look. Expressing your appreciation for others and other's actions will strengthen your personal relationships.


Here are a few ways you can show appreciation

a warm embrace
a firm handshake with a gentle smile
a sincere "thank you"
a passionate kiss
a hand-written card, email, or phone call with a sincere message of appreciation.

Gratitude is humbling. Show your appreciation for others frequently and emphatically. You will be amazed at the results.

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Once you’ve become aware of the signs and symptoms of suppressed anger, what can you do to better deal with these feelings? The following guidelines may be helpful:


1. Be willing to let go of the standard of always having to be nice or pleasing in all situations. Expand your self-concept so that you can allow yourself to express irritation or anger in situations where to do so might be appropriate. Examples would include occasions where someone keeps responding to you with snide remarks or subtle putdowns—or a situation where someone breaks an important agreement they made with you. Remember that expressing your anger does not mean dumping it on someone else, but rather sharing with someone (preferably not the person you feel angry at) that you’re feeling angry. You need to do this with feeling, rather than merely talking in a detached manner about your anger. Expressing your anger might alternatively mean to write out or physically “exercise out” your angry feelings. When you’re ready to tell someone you’re angry with them or their behavior, there are specific skills you can learn to communicate your feelings without hurting or belittling the other person.

2. Work on overcoming what-ifs about what might happen if you let your anger out. Usually these what-ifs are exaggerated and unreasonable, for example, “What if I go berserk or crazy?” or “What if I do something terrible?” Remember that anger withheld for a long time may seem ominous at first. Its intensity may startle you during the first few moments you give it vent, but it is not going to cause you to “fall apart,” “go crazy,” or “do something destructive.” The intensity of your angry feelings will diminish quickly as soon as you allow yourself to experience them. This is especially so if you express your anger in a benign way. If your anger is intense, try discharging it onto inanimate objects or on paper in the ways previously described, instead of “dumping” it onto someone you’d like to blame for your feelings.

3. Work on overcoming fears about alienating people you care about when you allow your anger to show. Being able to appropriately communicate angry feelings to significant others is, in fact, an indication that you do care about them. If you didn’t care, you would be more likely to withdraw from them and withhold your true feelings. While overexpression of anger can be destructive to others or yourself, not ever communicating angry feelings to someone you love may convey either indifference or a kind of phony, “holier-than-thou” equanimity.

4. Learn to communicate angry feelings assertively rather than aggressively. It is quite possible to convey your anger or frustration toward other people in a way that respects their dignity—in a way that doesn’t blame or put them down. One way is to begin what you say with I rather than you—in other words, “I feel angry when you break your agreements,” instead of “You make me so mad when you break your agreements.” I-statements maintain respect for the other person; you-statements put people on the defensive and assign them the blame for your feelings.

Believe it or not, other people don’t make you angry. You react angrily to your own interpretation of the significance of another person’s behavior. Something they say or do goes against your standards of what is acceptable or just, and so you feel angry. You can learn to convey your angry feelings without hurting, judging, or blaming others.

5. Learn to discriminate different modes of expressing anger, depending on the intensity of your feelings. If your anger is very intense, you’re probably not ready to talk to someone yet. Instead, you need a direct and physical mode of expression such as engaging in a vigorous physical workout. After your anger has lessened as a result of direct physical expression—or if it was moderate in the first place—talk it out with someone. If possible, it is best to share it with a neutral friend first before directly confronting the person with whom you’re angry.
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Our Power to Choose

November 15th 2007 06:31
Afriend of mine sent this to me and it really meant a lot. I thought that I would share it with you guys:

To encounter the holy is to live in the presence of what is real rather than what is illusory, lasting rather than ephemeral. The encounter changes our identity and causes words to twist and turn. Power comes to mean just the opposite of what it seems on the front page of The New York Times. You feel the difference between what is profane and what is sacred.


PROFANE POWER…

Seeks to dominate the other

Is individualistic

Demands conformity, obedience

Is used to gain more power

Coerces

Separates

Mystifies

Is violent

Hypnotizes

Is a zero-sum game

Is diminished by being shared

Is a possession

Is speedy

Is neurotic – it seeks vindictive triumph



SACRED POWER…

Seeks the fulfillment of the other

Is intersubjective

Creates diversity, pluralism

Is used to gain justice

Invites

Unites

Is wonderful

Is awesome

Fascinates

Is a win-win game

Is increased by being shared

Is a gift

Bides its time

Is erotic – it seeks to enjoy the other
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Repackaging Your Career

November 12th 2007 04:22
Letting your job become routine is hazardous to your salary not to mention job security.


[ Click here to read more ]
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Losing a Job: How to Break the News

November 8th 2007 05:39
Yikes! It’s normal that you will take care of bottom-line things first: negotiating a severance, extending your company’s health insurance through COBRA, and filing for unemployment benefits. These are all essential immediate tasks, says Richard Nelson Bolles, author of What Color Is Your Parachute? In addition, you should:


[ Click here to read more ]
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