Say Yes to Saying No
April 27th 2008 10:27
Do you think you are a bad person for saying no? Saying yes when you need to say no causes burnout. You do yourself and the person making the request a disservice by saying yes all of the time. When you say no, you'll be able to spend quality time on the things you've already said yes to. Yes isn't always the best answer. If you're overcommitted and under a lot of stress, you've got a much better chance of becoming sick, tired or just plain old crabby, which doesn't benefit you or anyone else.
1. Begin with the word “No.”
When you begin with “No”, you give a clear message. It is honest and not confusing. If someone becomes angry at your refusal, that is their problem, not yours. You are entitled to your feelings and you can say “No” whenever you want.
2. Don’t give excuses! You do not have to have a reason to say “No.” Practice full disclosure. Don't fabricate reasons to get out of an obligation. The truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, family member or co-worker.
3. Use I-Messages. This helps your message to be firm and direct.
4. Offer alternatives when you want to.
5. Ask for time to think when you need it. Extra time may help you to clarify your true feelings about the situation. Anyone who truly cares about you will respect this request.
6. Be sure your body language matches your words. Otherwise, you may give mixed signals to the speaker, causing ineffective communication.
•It is your right to refuse and not feel guilty.
•Refusal is not rejection.
•You can love someone and still not do everything they ask of you.
•Saying “No” can preserve relationships by keeping you from feeling
resentful. If we agree to something we really do not want to do.
1. Begin with the word “No.”
When you begin with “No”, you give a clear message. It is honest and not confusing. If someone becomes angry at your refusal, that is their problem, not yours. You are entitled to your feelings and you can say “No” whenever you want.
2. Don’t give excuses! You do not have to have a reason to say “No.” Practice full disclosure. Don't fabricate reasons to get out of an obligation. The truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, family member or co-worker.
3. Use I-Messages. This helps your message to be firm and direct.
4. Offer alternatives when you want to.
5. Ask for time to think when you need it. Extra time may help you to clarify your true feelings about the situation. Anyone who truly cares about you will respect this request.
6. Be sure your body language matches your words. Otherwise, you may give mixed signals to the speaker, causing ineffective communication.
•It is your right to refuse and not feel guilty.
•Refusal is not rejection.
•You can love someone and still not do everything they ask of you.
•Saying “No” can preserve relationships by keeping you from feeling
resentful. If we agree to something we really do not want to do.
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