Anxiety in Children: What's a Parent to Do?
January 29th 2008 04:05
All children experience anxiety. Anxiety in children is expected and normal at specific times in development. For example, from approximately age 8 months through the preschool years, healthy youngsters may show intense distress (anxiety) at times of separation from their parents or other persons with whom they are close. Young children may have short-lived fears, (such as fear of the dark, storms, animals, or strangers). Anxious children are often overly tense or uptight. Some may seek a lot of reassurance, and their worries may interfere with activities. Parents should not discount a child’s fears. Because anxious children may also be quiet, compliant and eager to please, their difficulties may be missed. Parents should be alert to the signs of severe anxiety so they can intervene early to prevent complications. There are different types of anxiety in children.
How Common is Anxiety?
Approximately 1 out of 10 children suffer from an anxiety disorder. Most children experience anxiety purely on the basis of psychological, social and environmental influences. Twin studies of identical twins have shown that anxiety can occur with one twin but not the other. Anxiety disorders are not necessarily inherited although some people appear to inherit a risk or vulnerability for an anxiety disorder from their family. Brain imaging studies have produced minimal data to suggest there is a single defect or problem in the brain that causes or contributes to anxiety.
Symptoms of separation anxiety include:
•constant thoughts and intense fears about the safety of parents and caretakers
• refusing to go to school
• frequent stomachaches and other physical complaints
• extreme worries about sleeping away from home
• being overly clingy
• panic or tantrums at times of separation from parents
• trouble sleeping or nightmares
Symptoms of phobia include:
• extreme fear about a specific thing or situation (ex. dogs, insects, or needles)
• the fears cause significant distress and interfere with usual activities
Symptoms of social anxiety include:
• fears of meeting or talking to people
• avoidance of social situations
• few friends outside the family
Other symptoms of anxious children include:
• many worries about things before they happen
• constant worries or concerns about family, school, friends, or activities
• repetitive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) or actions (compulsions)
• fears of embarrassment or making mistakes
• low self esteem and lack of self-confidence
Severe anxiety problems in children can be treated. Early treatment can prevent future difficulties, such as loss of friendships, failure to reach social and academic potential, and feelings of low self-esteem. Treatments may include a combination of the following: individual psychotherapy, family therapy, medications, behavioral treatments, and consultation to the school.
What Can a Parent Do?
1. Avoidance or minimization of stimulants. No caffeine, minimize use of asthma medications if possible (bronchodilators, theophylline), avoid use of nasal decongestants, some cough medications, and diet pills.
2. Good sleep habits. Getting adequate, restful sleep improves response to interventions to treat anxiety disorders.
3. Reduction of stressors. Identify and remove or reduce stressful tasks or situations at home, school and work.
4. Listen to the child's feelings . Isolation can foster low self-esteem and depression in children struggling with anxiety. The simple experience of being listened to empathically, without receiving advice, may have a powerful and helpful effect.
5. Keep calm when a child becomes anxious about an event or matter . If a child sees a parent is able to remain calm, the child can model the parent's attitude.
6. Reassure the child and gently note that he or she survived prior situations that caused anxiety.
7. Teach relaxation techniques , including deep breathing, counting to 10, or visualizing a soothing place. Teaching children how to relax can empower them to develop mastery over symptoms and improve a sense of control over their body.
8. Plan for transitions . Getting to school in the morning or preparing for bed in the evening may be complicated by fears and anxieties. Anticipating and planning for these transition times may be helpful for family members.
9. Encourage the child's participation in activities that may provide a reprieve from worries
Praise the child's efforts to address symptoms. Young people often feel that they only hear about their mistakes. Even if improvements are small, every good effort deserves to be praised.
10. Encourage the child to help develop interventions . Enlisting the child in the task will lead to more successful strategies and will foster the child's ability to problem-solve. top
If anxieties become severe and begin to interfere with the child’s usual activities, (for example separating from parents, attending school and making friends) parents should consider seeking an evaluation from a qualified mental health professional or a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
How Common is Anxiety?
Approximately 1 out of 10 children suffer from an anxiety disorder. Most children experience anxiety purely on the basis of psychological, social and environmental influences. Twin studies of identical twins have shown that anxiety can occur with one twin but not the other. Anxiety disorders are not necessarily inherited although some people appear to inherit a risk or vulnerability for an anxiety disorder from their family. Brain imaging studies have produced minimal data to suggest there is a single defect or problem in the brain that causes or contributes to anxiety.
Symptoms of separation anxiety include:
•constant thoughts and intense fears about the safety of parents and caretakers
• refusing to go to school
• frequent stomachaches and other physical complaints
• extreme worries about sleeping away from home
• being overly clingy
• panic or tantrums at times of separation from parents
• trouble sleeping or nightmares
Symptoms of phobia include:
• extreme fear about a specific thing or situation (ex. dogs, insects, or needles)
• the fears cause significant distress and interfere with usual activities
Symptoms of social anxiety include:
• fears of meeting or talking to people
• avoidance of social situations
• few friends outside the family
Other symptoms of anxious children include:
• many worries about things before they happen
• constant worries or concerns about family, school, friends, or activities
• repetitive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) or actions (compulsions)
• fears of embarrassment or making mistakes
• low self esteem and lack of self-confidence
Severe anxiety problems in children can be treated. Early treatment can prevent future difficulties, such as loss of friendships, failure to reach social and academic potential, and feelings of low self-esteem. Treatments may include a combination of the following: individual psychotherapy, family therapy, medications, behavioral treatments, and consultation to the school.
What Can a Parent Do?
1. Avoidance or minimization of stimulants. No caffeine, minimize use of asthma medications if possible (bronchodilators, theophylline), avoid use of nasal decongestants, some cough medications, and diet pills.
2. Good sleep habits. Getting adequate, restful sleep improves response to interventions to treat anxiety disorders.
3. Reduction of stressors. Identify and remove or reduce stressful tasks or situations at home, school and work.
4. Listen to the child's feelings . Isolation can foster low self-esteem and depression in children struggling with anxiety. The simple experience of being listened to empathically, without receiving advice, may have a powerful and helpful effect.
5. Keep calm when a child becomes anxious about an event or matter . If a child sees a parent is able to remain calm, the child can model the parent's attitude.
6. Reassure the child and gently note that he or she survived prior situations that caused anxiety.
7. Teach relaxation techniques , including deep breathing, counting to 10, or visualizing a soothing place. Teaching children how to relax can empower them to develop mastery over symptoms and improve a sense of control over their body.
8. Plan for transitions . Getting to school in the morning or preparing for bed in the evening may be complicated by fears and anxieties. Anticipating and planning for these transition times may be helpful for family members.
9. Encourage the child's participation in activities that may provide a reprieve from worries
Praise the child's efforts to address symptoms. Young people often feel that they only hear about their mistakes. Even if improvements are small, every good effort deserves to be praised.
10. Encourage the child to help develop interventions . Enlisting the child in the task will lead to more successful strategies and will foster the child's ability to problem-solve. top
If anxieties become severe and begin to interfere with the child’s usual activities, (for example separating from parents, attending school and making friends) parents should consider seeking an evaluation from a qualified mental health professional or a child and adolescent psychiatrist.
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Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
The main thing i hold onto and pass on, continually, is; you are stronger than you think you are, believe it and it will be so. This doesn't always work, but when it does, they surrprise themselves. I've suffered from it for years, so i coach them through it, often. Phone calls in the wee hours sometimes, and all that.
Now i wonder if my daughter will go to her first day of high school tomorrow, she's petrified.
~Lily
Comment by Holly Go Lightly
Movie Mage
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Her sentiments are mine exactly, a post well done, MIs.
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
My two eldest sometimes pull that "I'm afraid of the dark" line. Even though they have to walk through a long dark hallway to get to my bedroom.
For quite a long time I never pressured them to go back to bed...just wanted them to feel safe so I let them stay.
But this carry on went on for a bit too long and we all started to suffer from lack of sleep so we had to deal with it.
I put a radio in their room and told them to listen to the songs to distract them. Well, one night the DJ decided to play Thriller. As soon as I heard it come on the radio in my room, and it got the end with that ghoulish laugh, I could little feet running towards my room.
They still come into my room occasionally but no-where near as often as before.
But I wonder whether they were just saying that so they could sleep in my bed because I remember being scared of the dark and there was no way I would move out of my bed.
Anyways....
I just read an article that a little bit of stress in an adult's life is actually good. Kind of like, a little bit of red wine...
Is a little bit of stress okay for a kid? I'd imagine so for a teenager...a time when they're learning how to become an adult.
But what about children 12 and under say...is any amount of stress good?
Having said that, everybody stresses willingly or not.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by D. Armenta
The Florida Keys and Everglades
The Black Sheep Chronicles
What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
Debate Fan
I'm in agreement with Mrs. M here; also I think anxiety is a normal part of the human condition and shouldn't be overtreated with drugs or analysis. I suffered from anxiety as a child at times, just as every other kid my age did.
Sometimes I wonder if today's tendency to call every setback a "syndrome" and assign drugs and therapy to treat it is not doing more harm than good.
Perhaps oversimplification, but what exactly are we shooting for here? A state of constant happiness in children? Just my opinion, but I can't see that being a good thing--children grow up eventually and must be ready and able to deal with life's bad times, no?
Fostering a sense that normal pratfalls, anxieties, growing pains, fears, etc. are all "abnormal" and must be treated can't be doing children much good, can it?
Comment by Joanne Fedler
I also use Rescue remedy (Bach herbal flower remedy) in heightened situations. I think sometimes simply being attuned to your child's anxiety and compassionate makes a big difference, instead of comments like, 'Oh don't be silly, there's nothing to be scared of...'
Thanks for this - a really helpful and informative post.
Jo
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
Mrs M and D Armenta, much appreciate your comments, and there is such a thing as good stress. One thing's for sure, calm parent, calm child. (generally speaking).
btw the daughter rang me at 6.30am to say (excitedly and at the speed of light) i've decided i AM going to go to school today. I could feel her smiling, bless her. She's even going to let me do her hair lol.. so far so good. I think her dad taking her up to the school last night for a wander around, really helped. As as you were, just had to share that bitta good news.
~Lily
Comment by Mishpish
Allergy Window
It was only through this process that I realised that my husband and I were essentially a primary cause of the anxiety.. we didn't know it at the time, but we were helping to feed it by not acting appropriately.
I recommend it to anyone who needs help. Fear fighters is based on a program run by Macquarie University.
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
BTW Lilly - that's excellent news about your daughter!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I'm with Kylie. Good news about your daughter.
Going to a new school is daunting.
I remember the only advice I was given was if I was scared, don't show it. Bullies smell fear.
I also remember on my first day that I couldn't find the music room (after all highschool is much bigger) so I asked a couple of Year 12 students to tell me how to get there. They sent me the wrong way. I was late. Bastards.
Love & stuff to all
Mrs M
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thank you so much for sharing with us. I can relate professionally and privately.
This disorder runs in my family, mainly on the female side. We are at the point of seeking outside help for both my girls.
Anxiety does hae strong genetic links, however, parenting styles can certainly ease a child's anxiety or make it worse. Sounds like you are certainly attuned to your daughters needs
The main thing i hold onto and pass on, continually, is; you are stronger than you think you are, believe it and it will be so.
This remnds me of a Winnie th Pooh quote that I used with my son. (Even today and he is 22! Of course he rolls his eyes now)
If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you
Winnie the Pooh
My family (including me) suffer with anxiety but we are ever vigilant in our fight for a positive attitude!
I am so please that your daughter had a pleasnt first day of school. keep us updated on how she is faring!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So good to meet your acquaintance. I appreciate that you stopped by, read, and took the time to comment!
Mis
PS I will stop soon by your place!
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thanks so much for the kind words. As usual so ce to see you in m neck of the woods!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I chuckled at your comment and wanted to add that if there was no stress in an adult's live we would all be couch potatoes not motivated to do one thing. As much as we hate to admit it...negative emotions can get us up... SO glad to remind us of the "postive"aspects of stress! Hope you and your sweet family are well!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Good to see you! Long time no read! I need to get to your place as well. You make some excellent points. This post was geared more for the "overstressed" , "tendencey to over stress child" or "clinically" anxious child.
Sometimes I wonder if today's tendency to call every setback a "syndrome" and assign drugs and therapy to treat it is not doing more harm than good.
I have found in my practice that children who have a tendency for anxiety and or perfection coupled with parents who put additional stress on children tend to show up with clinical anxiety. I think our fast paced achievement driven societies exacerbate this condition. I believe that over medicating and over therapying a child is also harmful. As a therapist, there are many parents who will not listen to their children's outcries. Sometimes a therapist telling a parent to ratchet down a their insistence on lots of activities and perfect grades is all that is needed. This mystifies me I will say. (I go back to this...parents need to be attuned to thir children's needs).
Perhaps oversimplification, but what exactly are we shooting for here? A state of constant happiness in children? Just my opinion, but I can't see that being a good thing--children grow up eventually and must be ready and able to deal with life's bad times, no?
AMEN SISTER!
Fostering a sense that normal pratfalls, anxieties, growing pains, fears, etc. are all "abnormal" and must be treated can't be doing children much good, can it
Spot on with that!
Thank you thank you for taking the time to comment on this very important parenting issue!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thanks for visiting, reading, and commenting on this post.
I wish parents would refrain from saying this:
'Oh don't be silly, there's nothing to be scared of...'
Children and adolescents tell me all the time that they feel dismissed and less than when parents respond in this matter. Our feelings are important to us and their feelings are important to them.
Important info for parents to rememember!
Mis
Comment by Rose
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So nice to meet you! Thanks for visiting, reading, and commenting. I appreciate your recommendations!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So good to see you. I like that slogan "Calm parent Calm child" May I use it?
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I am honored by your kind words. Thanks so much for stopping by. Let me know how things work out!
Mis
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
My toes curl at the thought of being a parent. How can you be responsible for another human being when so many of us are incapable of being responsible for ourselves yet? I think it has only been in the last few months that i have really begun to start appreciating the role of a parent and the responsibilities of such an undertaking.
Taking my hat off to all your mums and bowing low!
Ash
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I am so glad to see you back. The office wasn't the same without your cheery self! Being a mom can certainly be challenging but with so much "on the job training" what doesn't kill 'ya .....
Mis