Basics of Discipline for Parents
July 13th 2007 04:04
• Punishment brings only temporary results. This is the reason other types of discipline are more desirable. When children misbehave, the parent’s role is to teach them why the misbehavior is not desirable and what do to instead. When parents become angry and send children to their rooms, the children blame the parents for what they have done rather than themselves for their act. This is not the desired learning situation. Punishment may bring instant relief for parents, but it is not a lasting situation.
• Parents who are too strict teach children to be power oriented. Children look to their parents for guidance and direction. If they see that possessing and dispensing power is the way that their parents function, they too will want to function that way. Power oriented children will want to boss and be in control of every possible situation just as they see their parents doing.
• Parents who do for their children what they are able to do for themselves teach dependence. When parents take away children’s beliefs in their abilities to perform and accomplish tasks, they are giving them the message that they are not capable. Children who believe that they are not capable learn to rely on others rather than themselves.
• Parents who promote unrealistic competition teach children to be dissatisfied with anything less than winning. In order to win, one must be the best, and experiencing this pressure may lead to the development of perfectionist tendencies. When children are constantly striving to be the best and to be perfect, they are never satisfied with themselves. They can become willing to do anything, including hurting other people, in order to succeed.
• Parents who bribe children to behave teach children that they should be compensated for all good behavior. These are parents who say statements like “If you are good tonight for mommy, I’ll take you to the moves tomorrow.” These parents tell children that good behavior is not something that is expected; rather it is something to be rewarded.
• Parents who nag their children teach them to be “parent deaf”. When parents nag, children often wait until the parent’s voice reaches a threatening level before taking action. This can also be a power play on the part of the children. They have a sense of control as long as the parent is nagging and they are not complying. Often, when the child finally complies with the parent’s wishes, the actions performed are slow and dwindling.
• Punishment teaches children that their parents are interested in retaliation. The long-range goal of discipline is to teach children that they are responsible for their behaviors and they must accept the consequences for their actions.
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
I was heartened by your heading - oh, I get it, my kids were supposed to discipline us parents, so it was they who got it wrong. That makes me feel good.
Not too many complaints with the rest of it though.
katyzzz
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Just thought I woud title it that way for a giggle! Thanks so much for hanging out with me. Glad you liked the post!
Mis
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I've got an example for you...but not a parent bribing...our local priest. Our local priest would come in every week for 1 hour scripture at school. We were supposed to learn the "Our Father" prayer...well none of us really tried....until he produced a $2 bill and said the first person who got it right would get the $2 bill.
That's all I really remember from those lessons.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thank you so much for sharing your story. So funny and such a wonderful example. It is so good to see you!
Mis