Ten Ways to Untwist Your Thinking
August 2nd 2007 03:22
There are times in our lives when healthy thinkg goes awry. Here are some ideas to untwist you thinking
1. Identify the Distortion. Write down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you’re involved in. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.
2. Examine the Evidence. Instead of assuming that your negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully.
3. The Double-Standard Method: Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem.
4. The Experimental Technique: Do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For example, if, during an episode of panic, you become terrified that you’re about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or run up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.
5. Thinking in Shades of Gray. Although this method might sound drab, the effects can be illuminating. Instead of thinking about your problems in all-or-nothing extremes, evaluate things on a range from 0 to 100. When things don’t work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete failure. See what you can learn from the situation.
6. The Survey Method. Ask people questions to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal and shameful, ask several friends if they ever felt nervous before they gave a talk.
7. Define Terms. When you label yourself “inferior” or “a fool” or “a loser,” ask, “What is the definition of ‘a fool’?” You will feel better when you see that there is no such thing as “a fool” or “a loser.”
8. The Semantic Method. Simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. This method is helpful for “should statements.” Instead of telling yourself “I shouldn’t have made that mistake,” you can say, “It would be better if I hadn’t made that mistake.”
9. Re-attribution. Instead of automatically assuming that you are “bad” and blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself and feeling guilty.
10. Cost-Benefit Analysis. List the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling (like getting angry when your plane is late), a negative thought (like “No matter how hard I try, I always screw up”), or a behavior pattern (like overeating and lying around in bed when you’re depressed). You can also use the Cost-Benefit Analysis to modify a self-defeating belief such as, “I must always try to be perfect.”
1. Identify the Distortion. Write down your negative thoughts so you can see which of the ten cognitive distortions you’re involved in. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.
3. The Double-Standard Method: Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem.
4. The Experimental Technique: Do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For example, if, during an episode of panic, you become terrified that you’re about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or run up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.
5. Thinking in Shades of Gray. Although this method might sound drab, the effects can be illuminating. Instead of thinking about your problems in all-or-nothing extremes, evaluate things on a range from 0 to 100. When things don’t work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete failure. See what you can learn from the situation.
7. Define Terms. When you label yourself “inferior” or “a fool” or “a loser,” ask, “What is the definition of ‘a fool’?” You will feel better when you see that there is no such thing as “a fool” or “a loser.”
8. The Semantic Method. Simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. This method is helpful for “should statements.” Instead of telling yourself “I shouldn’t have made that mistake,” you can say, “It would be better if I hadn’t made that mistake.”
9. Re-attribution. Instead of automatically assuming that you are “bad” and blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself and feeling guilty.
10. Cost-Benefit Analysis. List the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling (like getting angry when your plane is late), a negative thought (like “No matter how hard I try, I always screw up”), or a behavior pattern (like overeating and lying around in bed when you’re depressed). You can also use the Cost-Benefit Analysis to modify a self-defeating belief such as, “I must always try to be perfect.”
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Comment by David
As usual. I have taken this very seriously. Here is how I am going to change my life:
1. Identify the Distortion.
Oble shits me. Orblers shit me.
2. Examine the Evidence.
Having perused the comments on my Blog, I have found actual evidence of the negative thoughts of others, and my own kindness towards dickheads (up to a point).
3. The Double-Standard Method:
I'm not sure if this one worked. I tried talking to myself as I would a friend, then realised I didn't have any, and had no idea what I was supposed to say to a friend. I think I told myself off again.
4. The Experimental Technique:
I got on the couch and did heaps of exercise but now I feel depleted, drained and exhausted. No wonder that stuff creates babies. It drained the life out of me.
5. Thinking in Shades of Gray.
This was consoling advice. I found 50 instances of giving things a complete 2% effort and realise I can put 100% into life.
6. The Survey Method.
I'm paranoid about answering this question in a public domain.
7. Define Terms.
I have decided to label Orbellers win-challenged and wise-challenged bloggers.
8. The Semantic Method.
I've got a variation on this one. I've decided to tell myself, 'If you make the same mistake again for the next few decades, at least death will prevent you from doing the same thing again. So take some positives out of this.'
9. Re-attribution.
I need some time on this one. I thought being 'bad' was a good thing.
10. Cost-Benefit Analysis.
I like this one. If I can convince myself, 'You can be a loser,' I can be. It shouldn't be too hard to achieve for someone like me.
David ...
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I want to congratulate you.... you have made a perfectly mundane day...wonderful....full of laughter, eye rolling, and smart assery...
You are now the "hit" of my office. I read your comment outloud.
You know I dig you ! Thanks for stopping by and making my day!
Mis
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
I'm still laughing at David's comment.. hang on a sec.
*composing myself*
...um... oh yes, I was going to comment on #6. I think Orble is good for that for many people. I've noticed that whilst I have become dumber, many people have become smarter, so Orble supports the Survey Method nicely.
/seriously/ seeing what others feel and say about things is very helpful for anyone dealing with feelings of inadequacy in any department.
Like you, I am now going to print this out and send it to my Dad. He's dying soon (he reckon's) and not ready to take the trip. It makes controlling panic attacks tricky he says, because he can't tell himself that he is not dying, because he knows it's time... he's already been on borrowed time for many years following THREE by-pass surgeries!
What can I tell you about Romanian, Jewish, Gypsies raised in Catholic orphanages?
Lilla ...
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So glad to see you. I am glad that you enjoyed this post!
Mis