Bubble Bubble Toil and Trouble: Keeping Worrying at Bay
January 23rd 2008 03:43
Worrying about something is like paying interest on a debt you don't even know if you owe. - Mark Twain
Does everyone worry?
Yes. Worry is a normal response when you are unsure about things. It may help you feel more prepared in the short run. It may even help you feel some control over what could happen. Worry may "work" at the time, but it can become a bad habit.
When is worry a problem?
When worry becomes a habit that you can't control, it can make life miserable. Worries can get in the way of your daily life and disturb your sleep.
What kinds of worry are common?
Some people worry about having a serious illness when their doctor is sure they do not. Some worry that symptoms of panic will make them pass out, lose control, "go crazy," or have a heart attack. Others worry about looking foolish in social situations. Some people seem to worry almost every day. They worry about daily troubles, conflicts with others, safety of loved ones, or almost anything. For them, worry is a way of life. Worries that make you feel guilty, feel bad about yourself, or feel hopeless may be signs of depression. Your family doctor can help you figure out if you have a problem with worry.
1. Stop trying to get rid of worries. It doesn't work, and it may make things worse. Instead, accept worry, but don't give it your full attention whenever you think of it.
2. Use "worry periods" for 10 to 20 minutes at set times during the day. Give your worries your full attention only at these times. At other times, remind yourself to save thinking about a worry until your next worry period.
3. Learn "mindfulness meditation." This skill is simple, but not easy. As you get better at staying in the moment, focusing on your breathing, and accepting your thoughts as "just thinking," your worries will not be so troubling.
4. Find out what things calm you. Try doing things like exercise, relaxation, massage, prayer, yoga, music, journal writing, or taking a hot bath. Do it to calm yourself-not to get rid of your worries.
5. Being sure about things is only a feeling-it is rarely real. Practice noticing and accepting the many things each day that you can't feel certain about and can't control.
6. Stop checking the Internet, your body, or the opinions of others to reassure yourself. The relief you feel will not last, and you will just feel the need to check more. Sometimes your checking can scare you more.
7. Ask yourself: Am I making too much of the risk? Will this even matter next week? What would I be feeling if I were not worrying? Am I giving in to my worries instead of managing them? What can I do instead of worrying more?
8. Schedule your worry time. Set a little bit of time aside each day to really indulge your worries. And then, for the rest of the day, keep any additional worrying on hold for your next session.
9. Do something healthy while you worry. Make a little deal with yourself: You’ll only worry while you’re walking, or working out. That way, you’ll always have something positive to show for it in the end.
10. Write your worries down. Whether it’s a journal, an informal list on a legal pad, a computer file or a weblog, anything that gets your worries out of your head and into more concrete form will help you deal with them more effectively.
11. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? Then think about what you would do if it does. Preparing can reduce a worry’s power over you.
12. Ask yourself: What’s the best that could happen? The ideal scenario is probably as unlikely to occur as the worst-case one, but it gives you something to work toward instead of back away from. Get more specific. Rather than worrying about things in general, try focusing in on one topic to really concern yourself about.
13. Read and research. Time you spend reading up on your worry topic will indulge the worrying part of you while also moving toward a constructive solution.
14. Share your worries with others. It’s another way of getting your worries out of your head and into the light where you can examine them better. The people you talk or correspond with may be able to help or just sympathize, but you’re likely to get new insight just from the act of sharing.
15. If you’re plagued by worries that are not constructive at all, deconstruct them. Write them on a piece of paper and then crumple the paper, cut it into pieces, set it on fire, put it at the bottom of the garbage, or do something else that symbolizes your rejection of those worries. Repeat every day if necessary.
16. Use your old worries as signposts of progress. If you’re keeping a worry journal, flip back from time to time to see what you were worrying about weeks, months or years ago. You may be surprised to see how many things are no longer issues. Check them off, cross them out, and feel the power of constructive worrying.
17. Remember that nearly all worries are only thoughts and that the bad things that we worry about hardly ever happen. Worry won't protect us from the rare bad things that do happen.
18. Try doing things like exercise, relaxation, massage, prayer, yoga, music, journal writing, or taking a hot bath. Do it to calm yourself-not to get rid of your worries.
Thanks Jan for the pic!
Source:
AMA
APA
Does everyone worry?
Yes. Worry is a normal response when you are unsure about things. It may help you feel more prepared in the short run. It may even help you feel some control over what could happen. Worry may "work" at the time, but it can become a bad habit.
When is worry a problem?
When worry becomes a habit that you can't control, it can make life miserable. Worries can get in the way of your daily life and disturb your sleep.
What kinds of worry are common?
Some people worry about having a serious illness when their doctor is sure they do not. Some worry that symptoms of panic will make them pass out, lose control, "go crazy," or have a heart attack. Others worry about looking foolish in social situations. Some people seem to worry almost every day. They worry about daily troubles, conflicts with others, safety of loved ones, or almost anything. For them, worry is a way of life. Worries that make you feel guilty, feel bad about yourself, or feel hopeless may be signs of depression. Your family doctor can help you figure out if you have a problem with worry.
1. Stop trying to get rid of worries. It doesn't work, and it may make things worse. Instead, accept worry, but don't give it your full attention whenever you think of it.
2. Use "worry periods" for 10 to 20 minutes at set times during the day. Give your worries your full attention only at these times. At other times, remind yourself to save thinking about a worry until your next worry period.
3. Learn "mindfulness meditation." This skill is simple, but not easy. As you get better at staying in the moment, focusing on your breathing, and accepting your thoughts as "just thinking," your worries will not be so troubling.
4. Find out what things calm you. Try doing things like exercise, relaxation, massage, prayer, yoga, music, journal writing, or taking a hot bath. Do it to calm yourself-not to get rid of your worries.
5. Being sure about things is only a feeling-it is rarely real. Practice noticing and accepting the many things each day that you can't feel certain about and can't control.
6. Stop checking the Internet, your body, or the opinions of others to reassure yourself. The relief you feel will not last, and you will just feel the need to check more. Sometimes your checking can scare you more.
7. Ask yourself: Am I making too much of the risk? Will this even matter next week? What would I be feeling if I were not worrying? Am I giving in to my worries instead of managing them? What can I do instead of worrying more?
8. Schedule your worry time. Set a little bit of time aside each day to really indulge your worries. And then, for the rest of the day, keep any additional worrying on hold for your next session.
9. Do something healthy while you worry. Make a little deal with yourself: You’ll only worry while you’re walking, or working out. That way, you’ll always have something positive to show for it in the end.
10. Write your worries down. Whether it’s a journal, an informal list on a legal pad, a computer file or a weblog, anything that gets your worries out of your head and into more concrete form will help you deal with them more effectively.
11. Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen? Then think about what you would do if it does. Preparing can reduce a worry’s power over you.
12. Ask yourself: What’s the best that could happen? The ideal scenario is probably as unlikely to occur as the worst-case one, but it gives you something to work toward instead of back away from. Get more specific. Rather than worrying about things in general, try focusing in on one topic to really concern yourself about.
13. Read and research. Time you spend reading up on your worry topic will indulge the worrying part of you while also moving toward a constructive solution.
14. Share your worries with others. It’s another way of getting your worries out of your head and into the light where you can examine them better. The people you talk or correspond with may be able to help or just sympathize, but you’re likely to get new insight just from the act of sharing.
15. If you’re plagued by worries that are not constructive at all, deconstruct them. Write them on a piece of paper and then crumple the paper, cut it into pieces, set it on fire, put it at the bottom of the garbage, or do something else that symbolizes your rejection of those worries. Repeat every day if necessary.
16. Use your old worries as signposts of progress. If you’re keeping a worry journal, flip back from time to time to see what you were worrying about weeks, months or years ago. You may be surprised to see how many things are no longer issues. Check them off, cross them out, and feel the power of constructive worrying.
17. Remember that nearly all worries are only thoughts and that the bad things that we worry about hardly ever happen. Worry won't protect us from the rare bad things that do happen.
18. Try doing things like exercise, relaxation, massage, prayer, yoga, music, journal writing, or taking a hot bath. Do it to calm yourself-not to get rid of your worries.
Thanks Jan for the pic!
Source:
AMA
APA
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
ha! I was just worrying about something when I read your post! I have exerted enough energy on it for today.... put aside for a later bit of scrutiny
I find I tend to over-analyse things to the point of distraction. Too many times of getting burnt has given me the wonderful addiction of pulling something apart and scrutinizing it to death, even if it`s just a possibility of something. Then it all turns out completely different to the several million possibilities I gave it for panning out. Sheesh! A bit rude of the problem I know!
Taken on board, thanks for sharing!
Ash
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Only if my happy hour includes an "adult beverage!"
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So glad that the timing of this post tickled your fancy! HAHA!
Girlfriend...from one analyzer to another.... STOP IT! Worry loops get us no where..
:0)
Mis
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Following a horrible ten week period during 1996, of brutal attack and physical mutillation, I suffered terrible PTSD and panic attacks.
OMG the worry and panic that followed was worse than anything as the years dragged on, flash-back by flashback. Followed by periods of grave projection into a future where my worry convinced me I would surely suffer the equal horrors. I worried about what I had lost and didn't notice that I had already forgotten and forgiven all the bad things ... but the worrying just kept me there. Eventually, I realised that I was addicted to the adrenalin of worrying and it was that which had to be given up, not the real fears.. they had already gone!
Then I went through the worst part, the worrying about fearing fear itself!
Once conclusion now that I am further along in recovery... worry is a habit, a security blanket against taking responsibility for myself ... no doubts about it, but a symptom you cannot give up before it is ready to depart ... and so I have found meditation is a great antidote as is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy where you deconstruct your irrational fears into the daylight where you can recognise their irrationality. The ability to 'Let Go' being the hardest thing for a worryholic to do.
(I love that saying by M.T)..
I have noticed too that worrying continues to attract the very thing you don't want to happen, to happen, almost to jusitfy itself and usually why you keep 'getting that programmed event' over and over again to worry about.... that is until you take real physical measures to learn to stop worrying and let go... because in a way, worrying is no more than owning up to being a control freak who has become that way because something unexpected and probably traumatic has occurred somewhere along the journey. Well, if you take a buddhist perspective of Karma you'd probably laugh at yourself for having thought that you'd get off scott frtee without paying it back. The thing is not to induce anymore bad juju I guess?
*chuckle* Least that's my opinion having lived through a great addiction to worry. I am learning well the meaning of the saying that, '...Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it...'
L
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
...and I just love the front of that car... it reminds me of my 'Lady.'
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thanks so much for sharing your experience and insight with us. That must have been horrible. I am so sorry friend. Sounds like you have dealt with it well (time is on our side when healing). It is so good to see you!
Love this quote: ...Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it...
Mis
The book on my shelf is
Idiot's guide to getting along with difficult bosses!
HAHAHA!
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I usually have a 10 year rule....in 10 years time is this really going to matter?
I also like point 12.
I find though if I manage to stave off the worry thoughts for a while, when they do return they come back with a powerful overwhelming bang....until I can gain perspective again.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I usually have a 10 year rule....in 10 years time is this really going to matter?
I also like point 12.
I find though if I manage to stave off the worry thoughts for a while, when they do return they come back with a powerful overwhelming bang....until I can gain perspective again.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I usually have a 10 year rule....in 10 years time is this really going to matter?
I also like point 12.
I find though if I manage to stave off the worry thoughts for a while, when they do return they come back with a powerful overwhelming bang....until I can gain perspective again.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I love the ten year rule.... The older I get the more this is factored in (or maybe I just don't give a crap as much about the little things! ;0)
So good to see you. Hope you are well!
Mis
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Sometimes I worry that I don't worry enough! At university, while everyone stressed about exams, I'd be kicking back. There are things I stress about - mostly problems in the lives of, and in my relationships with, my family, friends, workmates, etc - but never anything like that. I was considered quite an oddity, especially since I was actually focused on academic success.
Generally, I just prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and leave the rest to fate. That way I know I have done all I can and there's no point worrying about it until it happens... whatever it may be!
Great points and great post
Michaelie
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Oh girlfriend I wish that more folks had a laid back attitude. Very healthy I say. Oh if you could bottle it you would be very rich!
Generally, I just prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and leave the rest to fate. That way I know I have done all I can and there's no point worrying about it until it happens... whatever it may be!
I will take your advice!
So good to see you!
Mis