Embrace Failure
February 26th 2008 04:52
There is no greater stigma in American popular culture than being labeled a faliure. The expression failure has become an oft-used and enduring symbol in popular culture.
Avoiding Failure
Folks learn about failure in childhood in the following ways:
1. Children don't engage in an activity in which they fear failure. If children don't participate, they're safe from failure. Injury, illness, damaged equipment, forgotten or lost materials, apparent lack of interest or motivation, or just plain refusal to take part are common ways in which children can avoid failure and maintain their personal and social esteem.
2. Children can also avoid failure by failing in an activity, but protect themselves from the failure by having an excuse—"I would have done well, but I just didn't feel like it" or "I would have done just fine, but the teacher was totally unfair." Because their failures were not their fault, children can't be held responsible and popular culture and their parents must continue to accept and love them.
3. Many children don't have the luxury of not taking part or coming up with excuses, for example, children can't just not go to school. So another way that children can avoid failure is to get as far away from failure as possible by becoming successful. But to what extent and cost? Becoming anxious and unhappy due to unrealistic self imposed or parent imposed goals.
The Value of Failure
Failure is an inevitable—and essential—part of life. Failure can bolster the motivation to overcome the obstacles that caused the failure. It shows us what we did wrong so we can correct the problem in the future. Failure connects our actions with consequences which helps us gain ownership of our efforts. Failure teaches important life skills, such as commitment, patience, determination, decision making, and problem solving. It helps us respond positively to the frustration and disappointment that we will often experience as we pursue our goals. Failure teaches us humility and appreciation for the opportunities that we are given.
Of course, too much failure may discourage us. Success is also needed for its ability to bolster motivation, build confidence, reinforce effort, and increase enjoyment. As we pursue our life goals, we must experience a healthy balance of success and failure to gain the most from our efforts.
When we look for the easy way out, and act in ways that can hurt us then we faill.
Failure also means treating others poorly and not giving back to our families, communities, and the world as a whole. When we are selfish, uncaring, and disrespectful of the world in which we live, then we fail. We will know in their hearts that some failure is okay and in no way a negative reflection on ourselves as people. Finally, failure will ultimately enable us to achieve success, however we define it.
Remember above all failure DOES NOT define us!
Avoiding Failure
Folks learn about failure in childhood in the following ways:
1. Children don't engage in an activity in which they fear failure. If children don't participate, they're safe from failure. Injury, illness, damaged equipment, forgotten or lost materials, apparent lack of interest or motivation, or just plain refusal to take part are common ways in which children can avoid failure and maintain their personal and social esteem.
2. Children can also avoid failure by failing in an activity, but protect themselves from the failure by having an excuse—"I would have done well, but I just didn't feel like it" or "I would have done just fine, but the teacher was totally unfair." Because their failures were not their fault, children can't be held responsible and popular culture and their parents must continue to accept and love them.
3. Many children don't have the luxury of not taking part or coming up with excuses, for example, children can't just not go to school. So another way that children can avoid failure is to get as far away from failure as possible by becoming successful. But to what extent and cost? Becoming anxious and unhappy due to unrealistic self imposed or parent imposed goals.
The Value of Failure
Of course, too much failure may discourage us. Success is also needed for its ability to bolster motivation, build confidence, reinforce effort, and increase enjoyment. As we pursue our life goals, we must experience a healthy balance of success and failure to gain the most from our efforts.
When we look for the easy way out, and act in ways that can hurt us then we faill.
Failure also means treating others poorly and not giving back to our families, communities, and the world as a whole. When we are selfish, uncaring, and disrespectful of the world in which we live, then we fail. We will know in their hearts that some failure is okay and in no way a negative reflection on ourselves as people. Finally, failure will ultimately enable us to achieve success, however we define it.
Remember above all failure DOES NOT define us!
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Comment by Ann 1
Bloganymity
There's a lot in this:
Ann.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
I've always felt that failure isn't the falling down...it's remaining down after the falling...
Excellent...and for me, very timely...post.
I say that because I've had a
failuresetback today, something I was hoping to achieve didn't pan out.No matter.
If at first you don't succeed...destroy all evidence!!
Kidding.
...that which fails me, motivates me...
I've never understood the whole "what nourishes me destroys me" thing...just seems so defeatist... but I know it is assumed that the Latin term means the equivalent of "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" but that's not true.
It fundamentally means "what makes me succeed makes me fail".
Utter crap. Unless you're Britney Spears!
....aaaand I'm rambling...see what happens when one has been out of the blogosphere for a while??
Hope you're well Mis hon...
Dusk
Comment by Krystal
feelings
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thanks so much for visiting, reading, and commenting. Glad to make your acquaintance. Thanks for stopping by!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So good to see you friend!
I've always felt that failure isn't the falling down...it's remaining down after the falling...
Agreed and well put!
I hope that your weekend improves fair lady!
If at first you don't succeed...destroy all evidence!!
HAHAHA!
...that which fails me, motivates me...
well said!
I've never understood the whole "what nourishes me destroys me" thing...just seems so defeatist... but I know it is assumed that the Latin term means the equivalent of "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger" but that's not true. It fundamentally means "what makes me succeed makes me fail".
You are wise dear friend!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I agree with you whole heartedly. So glad that you stopped by!
Mis
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
This is something I struggle with and something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. As Dusk said
it's remaining down after the falling...
I really have to bolster myself to get back up again.
Thank-you for this reminder:
Remember above all failure DOES NOT define us!
Tracy
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I am so glad that this post meant something to you! Girlfriend.... what doesn't kill me makes me stronger... or more pissed off!
Mis
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I guess at least anger can be a propeller for action whereas my natural movement is to fall into an abyss of inner critic noise (not self-pity, but the messages feel like facts). This is something I'm trying not to do, to use those intermittent bits of anger for strength. I can do it!!
Thanks, Mis. I'm sending good vibes to you, and thanks again for sharing your wisdom.
Tracy
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So true. If we were not propelled into action, we would all be slothful couch potatoes! [wink]
Mis
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Failure...it's an interesting one. I'm going to mull this one over. Too many thoughts in my head to write down here.
As per usual Mis, my online therapist, you have nudged my brain into action.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
When the fogginess clears come back. I would covet your thoughts about this! I so enjoy your company!
Mis