Mistaken Beliefs
September 30th 2007 05:11
There are innumerable mistaken beliefs. You have your own collection as a result of what you learned from your parents, teachers, and peers during childhood and adolescence. Sometimes you take on a false belief directly from your parents, such as when you are told “Big boys don’t cry” or “Nice girls don’t get angry.” At other times you develop an attitude about yourself as a result of being frequently criticized (thus “I’m unlovable”) over many years. The unfortunate thing is that you may “live out” these mistaken attitudes to the point where you act in ways-and get others to treat you in ways-that confirm them. Like computers, people can be “preprogrammed,” and the mistaken beliefs of childhood can become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Below are some examples of fairly common mistaken beliefs that tend to influence many people. Following each are the counterstatements which replace the negative belief with a positive one. Positive statements that counter mistaken beliefs are known as affirmations.
1.I’m powerless. I’m a victim of outside circumstances.
I’m responsible and in control of my life. Circumstances are what they are, but I can determine my attitude toward them.
2.Life is a struggle. Something must be wrong if life seems too easy, pleasurable or fun.
Life is full and pleasurable.
It is O.K. for me to relax and have fun.
Life is an adventure-and I’m learning to accept both the ups and downs.
3.If I take a risk, I’ll fail. If I fail, others will reject me.
It’s O.K. for me to take risks.
It’s O.K. to fail-I can learn a lot from every mistake.
It’s O.K for me to be a success.
4.I’m unimportant. My feelings and needs are unimportant.
I am a valuable and unique person
I deserve to have my feelings and needs taken care of as much as anyone
else.
5.I always should look good and act nice no matter how I feel.
It is O.K. simply to be myself.
6.If I worry enough, this problem should get better or go away.
Worrying has no effect on solving problems; taking action does.
7.I can’t cope with difficult or scary situations.
I can learn to handle any scary situation if I approach it slowly, in small enough steps.
8.The outside world is dangerous. There is only safety in what is known and familiar.
I can learn to become more comfortable with the world outside. I look forward to new opportunities for learning and growth that the outside world can offer.
Just recognizing your own particular mistaken belief is the first and most important step toward letting go of them. The second step is to develop a positive affirmation to counter each mistaken belief and continue to impress it on your mind until you are “deprogrammed.”
Below are some examples of fairly common mistaken beliefs that tend to influence many people. Following each are the counterstatements which replace the negative belief with a positive one. Positive statements that counter mistaken beliefs are known as affirmations.
1.I’m powerless. I’m a victim of outside circumstances.
I’m responsible and in control of my life. Circumstances are what they are, but I can determine my attitude toward them.
2.Life is a struggle. Something must be wrong if life seems too easy, pleasurable or fun.
Life is full and pleasurable.
It is O.K. for me to relax and have fun.
3.If I take a risk, I’ll fail. If I fail, others will reject me.
It’s O.K. for me to take risks.
It’s O.K. to fail-I can learn a lot from every mistake.
It’s O.K for me to be a success.
4.I’m unimportant. My feelings and needs are unimportant.
I am a valuable and unique person
I deserve to have my feelings and needs taken care of as much as anyone
else.
5.I always should look good and act nice no matter how I feel.
It is O.K. simply to be myself.
6.If I worry enough, this problem should get better or go away.
Worrying has no effect on solving problems; taking action does.
7.I can’t cope with difficult or scary situations.
I can learn to handle any scary situation if I approach it slowly, in small enough steps.
8.The outside world is dangerous. There is only safety in what is known and familiar.
I can learn to become more comfortable with the world outside. I look forward to new opportunities for learning and growth that the outside world can offer.
Just recognizing your own particular mistaken belief is the first and most important step toward letting go of them. The second step is to develop a positive affirmation to counter each mistaken belief and continue to impress it on your mind until you are “deprogrammed.”
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I recognise some of these. I am full of self doubt and even though I receive affirmations I still doubt my abilities.
It's hard to keep going, but I know I have to. The hardest part is if I have a rejection or criticism, to take it in my stride and learn from it. But like I said, my default is self doubt so it's hard not to let a rejection crush me.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by David
By killing people and turning them into victims, you can become quite powerful.
2. Life is a struggle. Something must be wrong if life seems too easy, pleasurable or fun.
By doing everything the hard and ridiculous way, like putting your shoes on before your socks, you can make the normal look easy and appealing.
3. If I take a risk, I’ll fail. If I fail, others will reject me.
Taking the risk of rejecting everyone you meet, before they have the chance to reject you will help with this one. Just say, ‘I don’t want to know you,’ to everyone you meet. Add, ‘I reject you as a person.’
4. I’m unimportant. My feelings and needs are unimportant.
Wearing a t-shirt with ‘My feelings are important’ to work instead of a suit, and refusing to discuss practical matters helps. Just say to your boss, ‘I don’t want to know about work. It’s unimportant. I have feelings.’
5. I always should look good and act nice no matter how I feel.
Mutilating yourself at parties in full view of everyone will make people realise you’ve had a tough day. Tie a noose to the tree in the back yard and just check it out for the fit around your neck. On a wonky table.
6. If I worry enough, this problem should get better or go away.
By not worrying about what colour the traffic lights are or speed limits or any laws at all, and just doing you thing, most of your worries will disappear. There are very few laws in prison.
7. I can’t cope with difficult or scary situations.
Wearing a horror mask for a week and looking at yourself regularly in the mirror will help you overcome your fear of scary situations. Do not go to hairdressing salons or beauty parlours during this period. Some of those women will undo all the good work you’ve done.
8. The outside world is dangerous. There is only safety in what is known and familiar.
Removing the roof and walls of the house will help anyone with this one.
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
Great advice there. Like Mrs M i am always ready to set sail on the self-doubt boat and find it difficult to de-programme.
I suppose it also has a lot to do with the people you surround yourself with too - no matter what affirmations you have if you are constantly bombarded with these negative thoughts you won`t achieve much.
Love these posts.
Ash
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
Unfortunately, I don't find myself at all credible, and tend to rebel against any and all platitudes I direct my own way.
I'm considering reverse psychology. I'll repeat 'You are a loser' in front of the mirror every morning, and go about my day feeling like a complete and utter winner.
Michaelie
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
katyzzz....again
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
I'm under the 'mistaken belief' that this the only body, mind and soul I have...in this lifetime at least...why waste time being the worst enemy to your best friend?
It's worked for me so far so I'll just carry on in ignorant bliss... albeit PMS days are a bitch...
This is a great post. I know too many people who think like this who are prisoners of self doubt. There's nothing to fear except fear itself and even then...fear shouldn't dare stop you.
I am really surprised to read some of the comments. I would not have expected some of the commenters to feel like this going by what I know of them through Orble (Ash?...Mrs M?...).
...did expect David's unique spin though...!
Truly a post to keep in front of you...great reminder that we're all simply too harsh on ourselves. For what? Being human?
Hats off to you Mis...(and I have a lot of hats!)
Hope you're well hon.
Dusk
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So glad that you stopped by. Self doubt is an insidious killer of esteem. The key to overcoming self-doubt lies in you. The more practice you get at believing in your abilities the easier it will be to keep growing that belief. You know "fake it 'til you make it." Look at what you do well friend. Look what you can and have accomplished! The same with letting go of your limits and fears - practice makes it much easier.
"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right." - Henry Ford
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Another comment for the office. I pinned this one up! Thanks so much for your wittiness!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thank you so much for your kind words!
Stay on land friend. Do not get in that boat!
I suppose it also has a lot to do with the people you surround yourself with too - no matter what affirmations you have if you are constantly bombarded with these negative thoughts you won`t achieve much.
There is lot to be said about surrounding yourself with good friends who always have your back. It is difficult if the negative folks are related to you or work with you. Sometimes we have to purge the negative folks from our life (or reduce our interactions.) Always remember that you are your own best friend!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
You crack me up with your "reverse psychology". Very funny! Thanks for visiting and commenting!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Great Katyzzz so glad that you stopped by!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Friend you are so wise! So many folks suffer from self doubt and of fear (even our friends)
:0(
Humanity can be so confusing. Thanks so much for your kind words!
I hope your week goes well!
Mis
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
Great post! I wouldn't say I'm plagued with self doubt, but it is something I struggle with regularly. Though I tend to try to cover that up with false bravado...what a good friend that is!
But I do see so many people trapped by these mistaken beliefs. Which is frustrating, because nothing you can say to them helps. They have to figure it out themselves. We're often our own worst enemies!
Kylie
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Oh Kylie..I feel 'ys sista!
Mis