Guidelines for Fair Fighting
March 27th 2008 01:24
1) Fight by mutual consent: Don’t insist of a fight at a time when one of you can’t handle this type of strain. A good fight demands two ready participants.
2) Stick to the present: Don’t dredge up past mistakes and faults about which you can do nothing.
3) Stick to the subject: Limit this fight to the subject. Don’t throw every other problem into it; take them at a different time.
4) Don’t hit below the belt: In your lives together, you discover each other’s sensitive areas. Don’t throw them at each other.
5) Don’t quit; work it out: Bring the fight to a mutual conclusion. Otherwise, it will just recur again and again.
6) Don’t try to win, EVER: If one wins, the other loses and begins to build resentment about this relationship. That destroys rather than builds the relationship.
7) Respect crying: It is a valid response to how we feel, but don’t let crying sidetrack you. It is a response for men as well as women.
8) No violence: Physical violence violates all of the above rules for fighting by mutual consent.
2) Stick to the present: Don’t dredge up past mistakes and faults about which you can do nothing.
3) Stick to the subject: Limit this fight to the subject. Don’t throw every other problem into it; take them at a different time.
4) Don’t hit below the belt: In your lives together, you discover each other’s sensitive areas. Don’t throw them at each other.
5) Don’t quit; work it out: Bring the fight to a mutual conclusion. Otherwise, it will just recur again and again.
6) Don’t try to win, EVER: If one wins, the other loses and begins to build resentment about this relationship. That destroys rather than builds the relationship.
7) Respect crying: It is a valid response to how we feel, but don’t let crying sidetrack you. It is a response for men as well as women.
8) No violence: Physical violence violates all of the above rules for fighting by mutual consent.
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Comment by katyzzz
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Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
:0)
Mis
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I'm guilty of this one:
Fight by mutual consent: Don’t insist of a fight at a time when one of you can’t handle this type of strain. A good fight demands two ready participants.
I tend to do when my husband is tired, so of course it goes pear-shaped!
Great info,
Tracy
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
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Hipnotherapy
I too have been guilty of this too! Not so proud !
Mis
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I'm not proud either, but it's hard to contain it sometimes....
Tracy
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
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Hipnotherapy
I know what you mean.
Mis
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
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I wish more people would remember these points, especially 2,3 and 7... and sometimes leave you be to work out why something is pushing a button, so having dealt with it, you can offer something constructive, instead of going around and around forever.
Lilla ...
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
So good to see you friend! You are sooooo right!
Mis