Respecting The Word No
October 18th 2007 03:07
Respecting “No” is of the essence in the relationship arena. Be realistic in your expectations. There is the possibility that the person who has caught your eye won’t be interested in you. Be ready to accept that. The two of you may get closer and even intimate, or you may not. What is certain is that you want to be remembered as someone who never faltered in respecting the other person’s right to decide for him- or herself. Learn to recognize a “No” when it’s not stated in the most explicit of ways. If the stranger sitting beside you on the plane is paying more attention to his or her laptop computer screen than to your attempts at starting a conversation, that’s a “No” and you must respect it.
If your in-laws appear less than enthusiastic at the news that you are planning to leave your children with them for the weekend, don’t ignore their clues. They are tactfully expressing their “No.” Realize that you may have been taking them for granted, apologize, and make other plans. One of the fundamental principles of decent behavior is to care enough for others not to make our problems theirs. Why is it difficult to take “No” for an answer? Because the child in us, the two-year-old who stubbornly wants to have things his or her way, never completely disappears. In many cases, this is compounded by a self-esteem problem. We often take a “No” as a rejection of our whole being. Therefore, we equate that “No” with a serious threat to our self-image. Thus the more we are able to say, “Yes,” to ourselves, the better we will be at graciously accepting a “No” from others. The way we treat others always depends on the health of our sense of Self.
The Winning Formula.
If you have a relationship in your life that is working well, it’s worth your time to sit down and figure out why.
By understanding what it is about a relationship that is rewarding to you will allow you to identify and repeat attitudes and behaviors that work.
Life’s too short to waste time with people who try and drag you down to their level of negativity.
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Comment by David
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Comment by Michaelie
Flick Wit
'Only if you don't mind helping me with these heavy bags...' = 'No thank you, I'm independent.'
'Only if you're not too busy to pick me up from the hospital...' = 'No, don't treat me like a cripple.'
'Only if you don't want any more of that delicious looking cheesecake...' = 'No, I'm dieting.'
It's a good thing I'm so perceptive.
Michaelie
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
...and this...surely this is experience talking?
...and if they don't...strtech and let your elbow do the no-ing!
That winning formula is spot on.
Sometimes though...I really feel like just saying "yes"
eg.
Person 1: "I feel stupid. Am I stupid?"
Person 2 aka Me: "Yes"
Person 3: "You don't mind me talking do you?
Person 2 aka Me: "yes"
...etc, etc...
Good stuff Mis...
Dusk
Michaelie...your powers of perception are amazing!!
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
HAHAHAHA
You know I can't say "no" to YOU!
;0)
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
You are SO 21st Century!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
May I steal these examples about perception for my practice/ They are HIGH-larious! Thanks for the giggle!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Too much yessir can lead to an ulcer!
Amen sister!
...and this...surely this is experience talking?
If the stranger sitting beside you on the plane is paying more attention to his or her laptop computer screen than to your attempts at starting a conversation, that’s a “No” and you must respect it.
Yes it is by the way. My favorite plane experience of the "unsaid no" occurred when I was flying and kind of wigged out (okay before narcotic therapy) and the flight attendants were moving me to a less "central seat" (Put that crazy bitch at the front of the plane where we can keep an eye on her) and the attendant asked this very nice businessman if she could trouble him to allow me to sit in the seat next to him. He raised his eyebrow and said after much deliberation "Only if I get to drink for free!"
This is wonderful! Are you sure that our inner monologues aren't related?
...Sometimes though...I really feel like just saying "yes"
eg.
Person 1: "I feel stupid. Am I stupid?"
Person 2 aka Me: "Yes"
Person 3: "You don't mind me talking do you?
Person 2 aka Me: "yes"
Great to see you!
Mis