Rules of Considerate Conduct: Praise
October 17th 2007 02:43
Here are a few good reasons to engage in the generous form of attention that is praise.
*By sharing with others how we feel about them, we let them know something about ourselves and strengthen the bonds between us in the process.
*By saying, “What you are doing is wonderful,” we encourage those who are doing the wonderful thing to keep doing it. Maybe in a small way, we become responsible for the continued existence of something wonderful.
*Many are unaware of their own gifts or may not realize how outstanding those gifts are. Through our praise we reveal to people who they are.
*Giving praise we nurture others’ self-esteem, a crucial factor in their emotional well-being.
OTHER DOS AND DON’TS OF COMPLIMENTS
*Don’t pay a compliment unless it is sincere.
*Don’t refrain from paying a compliment thinking that your feelings are already known.
*Don’t confuse complimenting with patronizing.
*Don’t hasten to reciprocate a compliment. If you do, you give the impression that the compliment you received was difficult for you to handle and you felt compelled to rid yourself of it at the first opportunity.
*Word your compliments carefully. Those who receive them will thus know that you have given serious thought to what they did and feel even more validated. Whenever appropriate, make the effort to be specific. “Good job on your presentation!” is a good, serviceable compliment. But sometimes you may want to say: “I’m impressed. I hadn’t heard someone argue his points so clearly, logically, and forcefully in a long time. I particularly admired…”
*Start with a person in mind. You didn’t always wait for something to strike you as worthy of a compliment. Focus on someone and ask yourself: what is it that this person does that deserves recognition?
*Rarely do we have the opportunity to compliment someone on something of great import. Why not look for something small, then? You can make someone’s day by admiring his or her taste in wine, wallpaper, shoes, or cars.
*Glenn Van Ekeren has a list of simple phrases that can help us express our feelings of praise and appreciation. Here is a selection: “I appreciate the way you…”; “Thanks for going all out when you…”; “One of the things I enjoy most about you is…”; “Our team couldn’t be successful without you…”; “You did an outstanding job of…”; “It’s evident you have the ability to…”; “I admire the way you take the time to…”; “What a great idea!”; “You’re doing a top-notch job of…”
*By sharing with others how we feel about them, we let them know something about ourselves and strengthen the bonds between us in the process.
*By saying, “What you are doing is wonderful,” we encourage those who are doing the wonderful thing to keep doing it. Maybe in a small way, we become responsible for the continued existence of something wonderful.
*Many are unaware of their own gifts or may not realize how outstanding those gifts are. Through our praise we reveal to people who they are.
*Giving praise we nurture others’ self-esteem, a crucial factor in their emotional well-being.
OTHER DOS AND DON’TS OF COMPLIMENTS
*Don’t pay a compliment unless it is sincere.
*Don’t refrain from paying a compliment thinking that your feelings are already known.
*Don’t confuse complimenting with patronizing.
*Don’t hasten to reciprocate a compliment. If you do, you give the impression that the compliment you received was difficult for you to handle and you felt compelled to rid yourself of it at the first opportunity.
*Word your compliments carefully. Those who receive them will thus know that you have given serious thought to what they did and feel even more validated. Whenever appropriate, make the effort to be specific. “Good job on your presentation!” is a good, serviceable compliment. But sometimes you may want to say: “I’m impressed. I hadn’t heard someone argue his points so clearly, logically, and forcefully in a long time. I particularly admired…”
*Start with a person in mind. You didn’t always wait for something to strike you as worthy of a compliment. Focus on someone and ask yourself: what is it that this person does that deserves recognition?
*Rarely do we have the opportunity to compliment someone on something of great import. Why not look for something small, then? You can make someone’s day by admiring his or her taste in wine, wallpaper, shoes, or cars.
*Glenn Van Ekeren has a list of simple phrases that can help us express our feelings of praise and appreciation. Here is a selection: “I appreciate the way you…”; “Thanks for going all out when you…”; “One of the things I enjoy most about you is…”; “Our team couldn’t be successful without you…”; “You did an outstanding job of…”; “It’s evident you have the ability to…”; “I admire the way you take the time to…”; “What a great idea!”; “You’re doing a top-notch job of…”
| 144 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Louie
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
great post - expressing our appreciation toward someone is something we tend to overlook the importance of these days I reckon.
This particularly frustrates me - I reckon it`s worse to build false hope in someone rather than telling them the truth - it seems to do more damage that way.
Hope your day is better today!
Ash
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
Great post as always.
The times they are a changin"
katyzzz
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Well...I'd just like to compliment you for this post.
I never hold back on the compliments. I see no point in not recognising out loud the value of someone else.
What I don't appreciate is the kind of personality that needs to make themselves feel better about self by putting another down with a backhanded compliment or...worse..."constructive criticism".
Excellent series. Of course. Hope you're well gorgeous.
Dusk
Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
You're absolutely right when it comes to sincerity. Lip service is cheap - and you see it everyday from hoards of Mahongy Row types - 'complimenting' workers one day and forgetting their names the next.
From the age of about two - people can detect a bulls*#t artist from 20 paces - so people - hasten these words.
Thanks for reminding us all Mis - its a timely soliloquy.
Stay well and keep smiling.
MNG
Comment by James Rickard
unlucky_ fishermen.com
Angling Fish
Check this out...
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
May I compliment you on a great series of posts.
For me praise is the foundatin of encouragement. I have seen more good people fail, all for the want of a bit of decent encouragement than I can count. But I have to agree with MNG, it has to be sincere. For me sincerety of praise is usually about timing. If the time is wrong the praise falls flat.
Besides, saying nice things, makes me feel better and helps me suspend judgement.
Lilla ...
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thank you for the compliment. I enjoy our visits!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I am so glad that you enjoyed the post! I think that we forget kindness and instead look for the faults of others.
*Don’t pay a compliment unless it is sincere.
This particularly frustrates me - I reckon it`s worse to build false hope in someone rather than telling them the truth - it seems to do more damage that way.
I agree with you wholeheartely!
Hope your day is better today!
Oh so much better girlfriend! What a difference 24 hours makes! :0)
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Mis, tried twice before, couldn't get through.
I have trouble sometimes too! Sorry about this. Thanks for hanging in there!
Thanks so much for your kindness.
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Well...I'd just like to compliment you for this post.
Thanks sister. I appreciate it so much!
I never hold back on the compliments. I see no point in not recognising out loud the value of someone else.
Well I compliment freely also but I am taken aback at the folks who are clearly embarrassed or just not sure how to respond. I think that it is sad that our society looks for the "bad" and does not try to "catch" others "being good."
backhanded compliment or...worse..."constructive criticism".
You know that infuriates me too! It speaks volumes about the insecurity of the pseudo "complimenter"
MIs
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
From the age of about two - people can detect a bulls*#t artist from 20 paces - so people - hasten these words.
HAHAHA friend soooooo true!
Stay well and keep smiling.
Will do
Mis
So glad to see you!
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thanks so much for your kind words :0)
You are so right about common decency..... I am so surprised at how folks treat others!
Mis
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Hi there!
Hi Mis,
May I compliment you on a great series of posts.
You may....I appreciate it so much!
For me sincerety of praise is usually about timing. If the time is wrong the praise falls flat.
Good point friend..... I will remember this
Besides, saying nice things, makes me feel better and helps me suspend judgement.
Amen sista!
Mis