Self Mutilative Behavior: Pt 2
July 5th 2007 01:28
Background: The skin is the first, largest, and most exquisitely sensitive of all the organs of the human body. We are shaped, in a way, by our earliest primitive memories and sensations that come through the skin. Later in life, the skin becomes not only the receptor of rich and constant sensory input, it also serves as a kind of organ of communication through which we experience tenderness and pleasure, and alternatively hurtfulness and pain. In a thousand different societies—ancient and modern, technological and preliterate—the skin has been manipulated, decorated, scarred, revealed, hidden, tattooed, cut, and branded to communicate standing, prestige, status as warrior or wife or slave, and to signify the attainment of adulthood. Skin communicates. Skin signals. Skin tells a story. Blood is the most symbolic of all body substances and it seems likely that self-injurers are drawn to it as much for its symbolic powers of healing and transformation as for the concrete relief it provides. The spilling of blood both gives life, during birth, and takes it away, at death. Throughout time, blood has been used in religious rituals to demonstrate suffering and salvation, piety and enlightenment: from blood sacrifice to crucifixion, mortification of the flesh to the martyrdom of saints, from ecstatic stigmata representing the wounds of Jesus to the drinking of wine representing Christ’s blood at Holy Communion. Bleeding has always signified healing, from the bloodletting of early medicine to the psychological release of ill will known metaphorically as “getting rid of bad blood.”
There are three recognized types of mutilation:
Major mutilation: This includes drastic acts of self-injury such as self castration, amputation of a limb, or the removal of an eye. These acts are most often the result of psychosis or acute intoxication, and often have exotic religious or sexual undertones, with some people reporting that they are directed by God to mutilate themselves as penance for imagined sexual sins. Despite the severity of their wounds, the self-injurers feel little pain at the time or regret afterward.
Stereotypic self-injury: This includes head banging, biting, and skin scratching. These rhythmic and monotonously repetitive behaviors are commonly associated with organic brain disease such as mental retardation, autism, and Tourette’s syndrome. It is believed that some of this highly repetitive behavior is an attempt to either induce stimulation or reduce it by numbing.
Moderate or superficial self-mutilation: This includes using a variety of sharp instruments to carefully make controlled and relatively shallow cuts in their skin. Some people engage in this only episodically, while others engage in it repetitively, taking on an identity as a “cutter,” feeling preoccupied by thoughts of cutting, and feeling addicted to the behavior. This type of self-mutilation has three sub groups: episodic, repetitive, and compulsive. The difference between subgroups is frequency. Repetitive self-mutilators hurt themselves chronically and develop a fixed identity around cutting. They come to believe that they are their symptoms, that there really is nothing but a void inside, and that if they were prevented from cutting they would fall apart, go crazy, disappear, or cease to exist. Both episodic and repetitive self-injurers hurt themselves for the same reasons: to relieve tension, release anger, regain a sense of self-control, and terminate states of emotional deadness. They may be driven by various psychological and medical disorders. Compulsive self-injury is the most repetitive and ritualistic of the three subtypes. These behaviors are more subconscious than cutting and seem to operate more like an obsessive-compulsive disorder. Examples include trichotillomania or skin picking.
| 93 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by life-stuff
Life Stuff
This is mostly in reference to the "Moderate or superficial self-mutilation" section you wrote. I was a self-injurer for around 10 years, it started before anyone ever talked about it. Some of the emotions you write about apply, but they don't begin to cover what I (and many people I've come to know) have gone through/feel. I do understand that everyone is different.
I was going to write a little about my experiences here, and will do so if you wish, but it was getting a little long for a first comment.
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I felt that for this venue...broad generalizations were most appropriate. You are so right about how complex this issue is....
but they don't begin to cover what I (and many people I've come to know) have gone through/feel. I do understand that everyone is different
Please feel free to write about your experiences. I appreciate your insight very much. I have worked with folks who self mutilate for 20 years...way before people started writing and talking about it.
I become angry when I hear other professionals or "regular people" make uninformed comments. This issue is serious and I want to make sure folks quit criminalizing this behavior.
I appreciate your visit and your comments!
Mis
Comment by life-stuff
Life Stuff
I was a young teen when it started, and at that point this did describe me, the anger, fear of losing control, and then knowing if I didn't do it now - it would be worse later.
Then I really did lose control - of the cutting. There was no more setting out instruments and thinking about where it would be. No consideration of 'maybe I should call someone' or 'can I get through it without'. I could control it enough to find somewhere private I suppose. These were still pretty shallow, though not just scratches. There were just a lot of them.
I started keeping blades at school. Doing this to myself all the time. Going deeper, buying butterfly band aids 2 or 3 boxes at a time. Lots of times I would bleed through the night, it stopped bothering me and I started wearing sweatshirts to bed.
The worst time (not nearly the last) was at school. Long story, pretty much wanted to be caught but no one noticed I'd left class. My forearm, each cut getting deeper. The scars from those cuts run the length of my arm and a few crosswise. They are very obvious, and I am extremely lucky that it didn't get infected - I didn't get any medical care.
Anyway, sorry that this got into actual accounts of it. I don't think I've had a doctor that actually worked with self-injurers on a regular basis. They're all shocked by me, and grab my arms (I hate that, so much).
Before I started having to actually work and keep jobs, I would tell people, educate them. The specific store I work in right now is so mental illness phobic that it drives me nuts. There are daily comments on 'that bipolar customer' or 'why don't you just go kill yourself'...I can't even begin to try.
I used to be able to help out a lot online. I related to the others, understood reasons and outcomes. Now I go to sites like teenhelp.org and want to just shake sense into some of them. You can't tell who's doing it because it's 'popular' and who's really in trouble. It drives me nuts.
I just wrote another one of my books, sorry.
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I am sorry that you are working in a store where folks are intolerant of differences. Generally speaking.... most self injurers I know want help but the process of recovery is very slow. I wish you the best.
Mis
Comment by Txcomputerguy
Comment by Txcomputerguy
Comment by Miswanderlust
Killer Beats
Ramble On
Hipnotherapy
I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Self mutilative behavior is very addictive and can be very difficult to treat. Thanks for visiting, reading, and commenting.
Mis