Separation and Grief in Four Not So Easy Steps
May 19th 2008 02:59
Step 1: SHOCK
Often a feeling of numbness or no feeling at all. People may be very quiet or even act falsely happy. Children and adults will have trouble sleeping. Children may completely act out or may behave extremely well. Children are highly likely to develop a cold or upper respiratory infection within one week of the separation.
Step 2: PROTEST
Feelings of anxiety, anger, helplessness. Times of intense weeping. Thoughts and actions are often directed toward the lost person. Adults may lash out at family and friends. Children often wonder if they caused the separation. There may be an active effort to “recover” the lost person (looking through pictures, talking about the person who is gone, children may even attempt to run away). When grief has been caused by a death, there is often displaced anger, where anger is expressed toward the lost person. People may reach out to help, but are pushed away.
Step 3: DESPAIR
Pain, depression, hopelessness. This stage is usually the shortest. Apathy is usually experienced by children and adults. Many people isolate themselves. Little activity or activity that is disorganized or purposeless. People at this stage often lack goals or direction. They are preoccupied with things, not people. Longing for the lost person may continue (especially if there has been a death), but active efforts to be near them are given up.
Step 4: DETACHMENT or ACCEPTANCE
Hope is regained. Behavior becomes purposeful. Sense of reality improves.
***There is no set time frame to deal with separation, loss, and grief. Everyone works through these stages differently. However, for true healing to occur, these stages must be passed through.
Often a feeling of numbness or no feeling at all. People may be very quiet or even act falsely happy. Children and adults will have trouble sleeping. Children may completely act out or may behave extremely well. Children are highly likely to develop a cold or upper respiratory infection within one week of the separation.
Step 2: PROTEST
Feelings of anxiety, anger, helplessness. Times of intense weeping. Thoughts and actions are often directed toward the lost person. Adults may lash out at family and friends. Children often wonder if they caused the separation. There may be an active effort to “recover” the lost person (looking through pictures, talking about the person who is gone, children may even attempt to run away). When grief has been caused by a death, there is often displaced anger, where anger is expressed toward the lost person. People may reach out to help, but are pushed away.
Step 3: DESPAIR
Pain, depression, hopelessness. This stage is usually the shortest. Apathy is usually experienced by children and adults. Many people isolate themselves. Little activity or activity that is disorganized or purposeless. People at this stage often lack goals or direction. They are preoccupied with things, not people. Longing for the lost person may continue (especially if there has been a death), but active efforts to be near them are given up.
Step 4: DETACHMENT or ACCEPTANCE
Hope is regained. Behavior becomes purposeful. Sense of reality improves.
***There is no set time frame to deal with separation, loss, and grief. Everyone works through these stages differently. However, for true healing to occur, these stages must be passed through.
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